Losing you
by Evilkat23
Summary: Ok so, What if Sakaki had ordered Bordeaux to PK Silabus instead of Alkaid? How would the reunion near the end of Redemption be like?
1. Chapter 1

**You know what I've been debating this story for YEARS! I mean it. Ever since I first finished Reminisce, which was in like 2010 I wanted to do this story. Ok so, What if Sakaki had ordered Bordeaux to PK Silabus instead of Alkaid? How would the reunion near the end of Redemption be like? **

Silabus warped into Coite-Bodher if the e-mail was right, then the person should be here. He looked around, he has only been here once or twice, Still, it was a forbidden ground. So no monsters, just pretty lights that float around and a pretty background. He looked around for another player, it didn't take long for him to spot the player. He was too far to make out how the player looked so he walked forward.

"Hey, so you know what's been...going...on..." Silabus's smile dropped when he realized who this person was.

"No...No...not you...what..are you-" Before he could finish his sentence, a blade cut through him, without a word, the person vanished. The brunette stood there for a few seconds, his eyes wide, trying to comprehend what had happened. All the while the real Silabus, Yuuichi, Had fell from his chair as was now on the floor clutching his stomach, where the sword had ran though Silabus. It felt so real.

Yuuichi still had on his MD2 on his head, he was still seeing what Silabus is seeing, and right now, all he saw was 'The World' spin before a moment before staring at the beautiful sky.

"Silabus!?" He knew that voice, it was Haseo's voice, so, Haseo got his e-mail.

Next thing Silabus knew Haseo was holding him. Silabus tried his best to look at the adept rogue, his vision growing blurry, and he was feeling light headed.

He could of sworn he could hear Haseo's voice breaking.

"Silabus...You idiot...What happened?!" Haseo demanded, Silabus could tell that Haseo was trying his best not the break down.

"I...Haseo...Everything is so fuzzy.." Silabus breathed, he was having a hard time keeping focus on his friend.

"Silabus! Hang on please!" Haseo yelled loudly, Silabus didn't understand it at first, then he realized his avatar, Silabus himself, was fading away.

"I...don't understand...why am I fading away?" Yuuichi asked, his voice growing weak. His vision started to go black in the corners, the blackness slowly consuming his vision.

"Silabus...Ha...don't leave...Silabus...Gaspard needs you...New players need you...I need you! You can't...You just can't!" Haseo yelled gasping out a cry. Yuuichi felt his mind fade, everything was fading away, he was having trouble speaking.

"D...Don't cry...Haseo...you are the leader of Canard you have to be strong...Gaspard...you have to tell him what has happened to me...ha...promise me...please..."

He was reaching the end, he knew he was, only being able to see a little bit he was trying his best to stay strong.

"...I...I...Don't leave...Silabus!" Haseo yelled, he was passed his breaking point, he couldn't lose another friend, he just couldn't!

"Please...Haseo...tell him...he has to know...tell him for me...please..."

"Ok...ok..."

"Thank...you...haaa..."

With that, Yuuichi let go, he couldn't fight it anymore, he just let out a breath and allowed himself to fall asleep. Unbeknownst to Yuuichi, when he let go, so did Silabus. His character vanished from Haseo's arms.

"Silabus...Come back...please...COME BACK! SILABUS!" Haseo screamed loudly, why did it have to be Silabus?! It wasn't fair! Silabus didn't do anything wrong, all he wanted to do was help people! why was he punished!?

Haseo had no clue how long he sat there, it could of been an hour, it could of been ten minutes, he didn't know, he just wished Silabus would come back. Finally he got up, unsteady on his feat.

"Haa...I...I..." He couldn't bring himself to say anything, he was shaking, Silabus was gone...It was his fault, he couldn't save Silabus...If only he was faster!

Haseo saw that he had a new e-mail, slowly and numbly he warped out of Coite-Bodher. Once in Dol Donna, he just wanted to fall to his knees and cry. He swore he'd protect Silabus and Gaspard, He promised himself that they wouldn't get involved! Now, Silabus was gone...a lost one.

Haseo logged out of 'The World' He couldn't do this, he just couldn't he need time to think and time to get over what just happened...

**Ok, that's the end of chapter one, now there are probably going to be three to four chapters, the next one will be when Gaspard is informed on Silabus, the third one will be Silabus's return, and their may or may not be an epilogue.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Have you seen a blade brandier by the name of Silabus?! He's about a foot taller than me, have long brown hair-"

"I'm sorry, no"

"Excuse me, have you seen a blade brandier by the name of Silabus...?"

Staying hidden in the shadow of the Dol Donna marketplace, Haseo let out a sigh as he watched the pink beast address the random players unfortunate enough to pass him. It was, in the best of terms, pitiful watching Gaspard in this state. Haseo knew that he should tell the beast, he promised Silabus that he would. It's just that it's hard. How does one explain to Gaspard that his best friend...is in a coma? It probably didn't help that Haseo has been avoiding the beast like the plague since...

Groaning a bit, Haseo put his hands on his knees and took a deep breath, why did it have to be Silabus?! Breathing heavily for a few seconds, Haseo quickly composed himself and shook his head, he couldn't get worked up, not now.

"-He's roughly your height, he wears all green and has long brown hair-"

"You already asked me. I'm sorry, I haven't seen your friend."

All Haseo could do was to just gently rub his eyes and shake his head. The news was going to destroy Gaspard.

"Hey..."

Snapping his head up, Haseo looked at Kuhn who, much like Haseo, was sticking to the shadows of the marketplace, avoiding the beast. Though you couldn't see it in his character, Haseo could tell that Kuhn was worn down. He didn't take the news of Silabus too well. The rogue was sure that Kuhn secretly blamed him for what happened, it honestly wouldn't surprise Haseo.

"Hi..." Haseo responded, his voice unusually emotionless.

"You haven't told Gaspard yet?" Kuhn asked, his voice in a whisper yet, Haseo could hear the slight anger behind older man's voice, it was enough to make Haseo shut his eyes and just swallow hard. Crossing his arms, the rogue shook his head, he couldn't bring himself to answer properly, god, he felt like a wreck. He felt Kuhn look at him and Haseo looked back at Kuhn, there was a slight pause between the two men, then Kuhn sighed softly,

"It's been two weeks, I've been getting nonstop e-mails asking about Silabus, and I'm sure you have as well, Haseo, you can't keep him in the dark forever, he has to know. I mean, look at him. It's like he's searching for his pet dog that ran away."

"I would tell him, trust me...I would...It's just...How do you tell someone that their best friend is in a coma?"

"...You can't...Which what makes it suck even more."

There was a silence between the two, Haseo watched as Gaspard finally slumped away to the guild shop and look down at the pixilated floor. As Gaspard stood there, sad, and no doubt very lonely. The beast's hands went up to his eyes and started to wipe away invisible tears.

"Why did it have to be Silabus?...Why him...All he wanted to do was to simply bring joy to people that play this game and this is what he gets in return?! IT'S NOT RIGHT, DAMMIT! IT SHOULDN'T OF BEEN HIM!" Haseo found himself screaming, he didn't care about the looks some of the passing players gave him, he didn't care that his yelling was loud enough to where Gaspard could hear him, he just didn't care. "...It shouldn't of been him..." Haseo repeated, shaking his head. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Gaspard making his way towards them, no more avoiding him now.

"I know...Do you want me to stay and talk to Gaspard with you?" Kuhn offered with an emotionless whisper, Haseo shook his head, Kuhn had enough to deal with, he was sure that the last thing he needed was the storm that has yet to come.

Kuhn had a slight frown on his face, then without a single word, he transported away. Haseo sighed softly, before he could do anything else, Gaspard had already made his way to the rogue.

"Haseo! I know you must be busy, that's why you haven't answers any of my e-mails. But, please, please, PLEASE, tell me you've seen Silabus around! I haven't seen or heard from him in a while and I'm real worried! It's unlike him to not respond to me for this long!" Gaspard yelled desperately at Haseo, letting out a soft noise, Haseo tapped his foot on the ground and just looked down. "Haseo?" The beast asked softly, his eyes pleading for answers.

"Gaspard...Why don't we talk in the HOME, alright?" The rogue asked softly, Gaspard kept his gaze on Haseo for a few seconds, his big green eyes close to tears. Taking a few breaths, Gaspard nodded softly.

"Alright...Alright...I'll meet you there," Gaspard breathed softly, Haseo watched as the beast slumped away towards the guilds HOME. Once gone, Haseo took a deep breath and put a hand on his head, this wasn't going to be an easy conversation to have.

Still, the rogue made his way to Canard, thinking of how he was going to word this. Deep down, he knew it didn't matter how he was going to word it, either way, it was going to end in crying. Walking inside the guild, he looked at Gaspard, the beast sitting patiently in one of the chairs, waiting for Haseo. Once he saw Haseo, Gaspard jumped up from the chair and ran up to his leader.

A leader who he admitted that he admired, a leader who let his best friend become a lost one, a leader who can't seem to save anybody that matters.

Staring at Haseo, Gaspard didn't speak, he just waited for Haseo to talk, for Haseo to tell him that Silabus was alright.

Taking a deep breath, Haseo shut his eyes and then slowly opened them.

"Gaspard...There is something you should know...It's about Silabus." Haseo started. Gaspard's eyes widened and hearing Haseo's sorrowful tone, the pink beast slowly sat down on a nearby bench. Taking a deep breath, Gaspard braced himself for the news yet to come. Haseo took a couple of breaths and stared at his friend for a few passing seconds before finally continuing on. "Gaspard...There was an accident...Silabus, won't be playing 'the world' for some time."

Gaspard continued to stare at Haseo. His wide green eyes filled with confusion and worry.

"I don't understand, Haseo, it say's he's been online for weeks now, how can he not be playing?" The beast asked, Haseo went quiet, not sure on what to say next. Looking away from Gaspard, Haseo finally spit it out.

"He isn't online, Gaspard, I know it says he is, but, he's not. He's...Going to be in the hospital...for...I don't know how long." Haseo breath out the last part, turning to face Gaspard once more, Haseo braced himself for the crying to come. There were a few tense seconds of silence, then, much to Haseo's surprise, Gaspard warped out of Canard.

Taking a quick look at his friends list, it showed Gaspard to be offline. Putting his hand to his head, Haseo slunk down onto the Canard floor and found himself staring at the ceiling. He didn't know why he was doing something so stupid, but, here he was, sitting on the ground staring at a pixilated ceiling.

"*Oink* You know, I miss the guy in green *Oink* It's been quiet without him *Oink*" Death grunty said from his little pedestal. At normal times, Haseo would tell that stupid pig to shut his goddamn gob. For once, however, Haseo did something rare. He agreed with the pig.

"I miss him to. I have a feeling...it's going to be a lot quieter now...Because, I doubt Gaspard is ever coming back." Haseo whispered softly as he continued to stare at the ceiling. "...Its not Canard without those two goofballs..." He whispered to himself, silence was all that followed after that. Sitting there in the empty guild, he probably would of sat there all night if it wasn't for a sudden short mail from Pi telling him to help her collect some AIDA seeds.

Getting up from the floor and making his way to the guild door, he stopped momentarily and turned around, giving the guild one last look before leaving. It really didn't seem the same without Silabus, it seemed less welcome.

Shaking his head, Haseo snapped out of it, he can't keep moping like this, no, he to stay on top of his game right now, if he was going against AIDA, he couldn't risk getting infected. Turning around, he walked out of Canard, his shoulders square and his walk proud. No more of this moping. He had stuff that need to get done.

After a rather successful AIDA hunt, Haseo warped into Dol Donna with Pi in tow. After she said her goodbye's, Haseo did the same and logged out of 'the world'. Once to his desktop, he noticed that he had a couple of new e-mails. That alone never surprised him, he always had e-mails. Be it serious ones from Pi or Yata or greeting cards, like the one he sent to Silabus a while back. The blade brandier never did get to answer that greeting card, kind of funny if you thought about it. Shaking his head, he went to his inbox, he was kind of surprised to find out that one of the e-mail's came from Gaspard. Clicking on it, Haseo held his breath as he read it.

_To: Haseo_

_From: Gaspard_

_Title:..._

_Haseo, I'm sorry I warped out so suddenly like that. I know you don't like it when I cry, since I do it so much, and I didn't want you to see me like that. When you told me Silabus was in the hospital, I didn't want to believe it, but, I know it's true, because, you wouldn't like about something like that. This isn't 'The world' anymore, it's a scary place that will put people, good people, into coma's for reasons I don't even know. _

_I thought about quitting, it was a bad thought to have, but, it was there._

_I won't quit though. I can't quit. Silabus wouldn't want me to quit, he would want me to keep playing and to get stronger. I'll do what I can to help around Canard, granted, it'll be lonely with Silabus here, but, I can manage, I have to try, at least. _

_Just promise me something, Haseo. _

_Don't give up on Canard, please, we have to keep it up and running for the noobs and for Silabus, he loved Canard more than anything. There's only you, me, and Atoli, now. I don't think I can keep it going if you suddenly quit like Kuhn did. It was hard enough when it was just me and Silabus. Please, Please Haseo,_

_Don't give up. _

Haseo reread the e-mail twice and slowly sat back in his chair, taking a deep breath, Haseo spoke the first thing to come to his mind,

"Gaspard...I will never give up on Canard, or 'the world' for that matter, you're right, I can't give up, for Silabus and all the others players who became lost ones. I'm not about to give up, not now, not ever. I WILL bring Silabus back. Just you wait."

Leaving Gaspard's e-mail, Haseo felt a bit tense when he saw the CC Corp E-mail. It was time for the fight with Bordeaux. Giving his history with her, this is going to be a very interesting match, a very interesting match indeed.

**I'M BACK! Yes I am. I'm back and ready to continue this fanfic! I'm sorry for the long pause. But, it doesn't matter anymore, because...I'm back! and i'm replaying the games, I'm already on redemption so I should have a good grasp on how to do the next chapter which is the one where Silabus returns! **

**Also, I'm sorry if this chapter was lacking in anyway, and if Haseo may seem a bit OOC, if he is, I apologize. Another apology, any errors in the spelling/grammar, I'm sorry. It's late right now, and I probably didn't catch everything. **


	3. Chapter 3

_"You should of seen his pathetic face when I PK'd that loser! It was priceless!" The AIDA infected Bordeaux boasted to Haseo, knowing that her words would most likely send the rogue over the edge. _

_"Y-You? You did that to Silabus!?" Haseo screamed at her, he knew that Bordeaux has always had it out for Canard ever since the demon palace tournament, but, to go as far as to make him a lost one...That was unforgivable. _

_"I would do it again and again just to see his face, he looked so helpless after my blade went through him, it's a shame I couldn't stay to watch him fade." _

_"YOU BITCH!" Alkaid yelled, throwing Haseo off. Why would she feel so strongly about Silabus? Before he could question anything else, Alkaid ran forward, her twin blades getting ready for a strike on the infected Bordeaux. Haseo ground his teeth and took out his own twin blades. Rushing forward with Alkaid, the battle between the two parties continued. _

_While Haseo tried to get to Bordeaux, Negimaru got into the way, blocking him off from the leader. Growling, Haseo started his attacks on Negimaru, hoping to get the annoying PKer out of the way. Looking quickly at Bordeaux, Haseo noticed that Alkaid was giving the player no mercy as she continued to hit the leader, strike after strike. _

_Haseo needed to get Alkaid away from her, Alkaid was no longer safe, not with AIDA this close to her. He couldn't have another one of his friends become a lost one! No, he needed to summon Skeith for this. It was the only way to keep Alkaid safe. Looking back at Atoli, the two nodded to each other, knowing the situation well enough by now. Who knows, maybe after the battle, Silabus just might wake up..._

* * *

After Haseo won both the holy palace and the sage palace tournament, Silabus has yet to wake. He beat Ovan, and Cubia, Silabus still was not in the game. He got a job extension, Canard was now in the netslum, bigger than it ever could be, Shino was back in the game, he was playing with Tabby again, yet, no Silabus.

What else could Haseo do to bring his friend back?

He was starting to wonder if Silabus would ever come back. Haseo quickly shook his head, how could he think like? Of course Silabus was coming back, it's just...taking him longer than most.

Canard hasn't been the same with out Silabus, yeah they had Gaspard, but, between helping noobs and watching the shop, the pink beast has been so busy that he hardly had any time for any quests and he seemed so worn out all the time. He's trying his best, one can't deny that.

"Haseo?"

Snapping out of his sudden thoughts, Haseo turned around and face Atoli and Bo, the three of them standing in the middle of a field. Rubbing the back of his head, the rogue gave his head a sudden shake.

"Sorry about that, where were we?" He found himself asking the two, it's a bit unlike him to space out like that.

"We got the judges symbol." Bo filled him in, Haseo nodded and started to walk towards the beast temple. The party of three unusually quiet as they walked. The field now free of monsters, any other time, Haseo would get on the steam bike and go to the temple like that, but, he just really didn't feel like it at this point. Besides, he could see the temple as he walked anyway.

Finally walking inside the beast temple, Haseo gave the chest a good kick. Another useless poison frost blade.

Shaking his head, he turned around, ready to go back to Breg Epona. As he walked, a sudden message popped up in front of him, causing him to take a slight step back to read it.

"Mail?" Bo asked Haseo as he silently read what was in front of him. It was an anonymous short mail.

**_Meet me in Dol Dona, in front of the HOME'S._**

Dol Dona, there's a place he hasn't visited in a while. Still, who sent this mail? Was it Silabus? Was he finally back and trying to be sneaky by surprising the rogue? Truthfully, Haseo could see him doing that. Giving a small smile, Haseo started towards the warp gate. Once he was back in the net slum, he said his goodbyes to Bo and Atoli and warped into Dol Dona.

The town was pretty much has he remembered it last time he warped there, green. Crossing his arms, Haseo went to one of the green warp gates and warped himself in front of the HOME'S. He really did expect to find Silabus standing in front of the doors, possibly wondering why Canard is no longer in Dol Dona.

Haseo was met with disappointment once he got to the doors. There was only a tu tribe beast standing there, looking around a bit, Haseo looked down at the beast.

"Did...You send me a short mail?" The rogue found himself asking. The beast, whose name was Trebel, gave Haseo a rather incredulous look and snorted.

"No, I don't even know you." Trebel snorted and walked off, Haseo put his hands on his hips and frowned a bit. Why tell him to come to Dol Dona if whoever wasn't going to be there? No point in waiting here then.

Turning around to walk back to the warp gate, Haseo found himself face to face with a familiar happy face.

"S...Silabus..." Haseo breathed softly, he knew his friend would try something like that. Silabus stood there, smiling, not really knowing where to look, his brown eyes shining happily. After a couple seconds of silence, Silabus spoke,

"You got another upgrade, you look great, less...frightening and more friendly, I think it looks great on you."

It felt good, hearing that voice again.

"...Silabus..." Was all Haseo could bring himself to say. Silabus smiled down at the ground, hiding his face for a few seconds, then he looked back up at Haseo, a large friendly smile on his face.

"Canard moved, that's good, that means it expanded. I can always count on you to make our guild bigger, can't I?" Silabus smiled, avoiding the elephant in the room. Haseo, on the other hand, wasn't going to avoid that elephant. Instead he took a step closer to his friend, catching Silabus slightly off guard. Then, before Haseo could stop himself, he grabbed Silabus's wrist and pulled his friend into a tight hug.

"H-Haseo!?" Silabus squeaked, tensing up a bit.

"You...Do you know how worried everyone was for you!? Do you know how many people missed you!? Don't you ever vanish like that again! That's an order!" Haseo found himself yelling as he held his friend close. Silabus's shoulder's started to shake, at first, Haseo wondered if his friend was crying, then he realized, Silabus was laughing.

"Of course, you're the leader." Silabus said finally. Hugging Haseo back, "And...I missed you to." Silabus confessed with a slight laugh. Letting go of Haseo, the two gave an awkward blush and turned away from each other for a few seconds.

"Judging by the fact that my email isn't being spammed at the moment, you haven't told Gaspard yet have you?" Haseo asked finally, Silabus turned and faced Haseo again, and gently shook his head.

"Uh...No...Not yet, I mean, I was just about to try to find him when I got this anonymous short mail telling me to come here." Silabus explained, causing Haseo to frown a bit. "But, I now know that it was you that sent me that message!" Silabus said happily with a his natural smile on his face.

"I never-" Before Haseo could finish another voice cut in.

"SILABUS!?"

Both Silabus and Haseo turned around to see Gaspard. Silabus smiled again, larger then before. Then, he ran forward arms out stretched to Gaspard.

"Gaspard!" Silabus yelled happily to his friend as he ran forward.

The beast ran forward as well, his own arms outstretched. The two collided in a large, slightly awkward looking hug. Giving Silabus's height over Gaspard's short stature. Then in the middle of their hug, Silabus dropped down to his knees, giving Gaspard the advantage in the hug. Haseo chuckled softly as he watched the two players. They both started to laugh as they hugged each other tightly. Haseo leaned against the HOME'S wall and watched them for a couple of seconds.

The brief happiness he felt was interrupted by a sudden short mail from Pi, it only contained two words.

**_You're welcome. _**

Haseo couldn't stop the smile that spread on his lips. You could always count on Pi to get the job done, even if it wasn't her job to start with. Thinking to himself for a brief moment,

_'Wait a minute, if Pi short mailed, me, Silabus, and Gaspard, then she would most likely-' _Haseo started to think, but, his thoughts were cut off by two more voices.

"Silabus!"

"SILABUS!?"

Looking towards the warp gate, Haseo saw Atoli and Kuhn run forward towards the blade brandier. Silabus, who had finally stood up, was practically knocked back down by Kuhn's sudden glomp.

"Kuhn! Atoli!" Silabus yelled out happily as Atoli joined in the hug, making it a group hug. Haseo let a small smile play on his lips once more and started to head towards the warp gate, however, before he made it, he was stopped by Silabus's voice.

"Haseo?"

Turning back around, the rogue looked at his friend, now free from Kuhn and Atoli, Silabus smiled at Haseo, a wide smile, he looked genuinely happy, something that Haseo desperately missed in the few months that Silabus was gone.

"Lets go on an adventure together! It doesn't have to be now, but, lets make it soon." The blade brandier spoke, his smile never leaving his face. Haseo gave a small smile of his own.

"Yeah, I'd like that." Haseo responded, he then smiled a bit bigger and added, "Welcome back."

Turning back towards the warp gate, Haseo could hear Gaspard and the others all chat excitedly to Silabus, and the rogue smiled more to himself.

finally, everything was the way it should be.

_Woo~ Done. It's been fun! It has, and now, I'm officially done. Now, I don't think I'm going to make an epilogue as I said I might do in chapter one, mainly because, I forgot what the epilogue was even going to be. That's what happens when you take a long hiatus, like I did. _


End file.
